Okay, so in my last post I wrote about how the most important factor in effective therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. While this is true, and you should absolutely go with your gut when deciding who to hire as your therapist, I'm very aware that some of you may have been dissatisfied with my advice. After all, it leaves open the very obvious question of HOW to find a therapist that you connect with. So this post is for all of you planners who want something more specific and concrete than "go with your gut". Let's get to it. If you're like me, then when you set out to hire pretty much anyone for anything, you
start with personal referrals.
Can anyone you know recommend a good therapist? This is a great place to start, and more people than you know have been to therapy (trust me on this one). Ask them what they liked about their therapist and if there was anything they didn't like. Ask if therapy helped and how quickly. Really, ask anything that you're curious about and that doesn't feel too intrusive. You can also always
ask your doctor.
Your doctor, hopefully, has vetted a few therapists over time and will have a short-list of people he or she recommends. However, if you come up empty handed with personal referrals and your doctor doesn't have someone (and again, you're like me), the next place you may search is on Yelp. Yelp is normally great, but when it comes to counseling, the following has to be said:
Please don't look for your therapist on Yelp.
Or if you do, at least understand the limitations. Here's why: therapists in San Diego -- and in California as a whole and I'm guessing in all the other states, too -- are not allowed to ask for recommendations from clients. Although it's a grey area, many therapists remove the recommendations they have on their Yelp accounts because they think it's against our code to leave them there. Others feel it's okay as long as they didn't request those recommendations, and these therapists leave their profiles and the comments up. Bottom line, though, is that when great therapists are actively removing the positive things people are saying about them on Yelp, it becomes less reliable for finding a therapist than it would be for finding, say, a plumber. At this stage in the game, after no luck with friends and family and after bypassing Yelp, you may be forced to (gulp)
Google it.
I hate using Google to find services because it's so overwhelming and I have no way of knowing the quality of the people who show up on the searches. However, when looking for a counselor, it's entirely possible that you may find yourself staring at The Dreaded Google and typing in search terms. If this is you, here are a few general tips:
- Look for someone who specializes in your problem, not someone who sees "everyone for everything".
- Do a little research into effective treatment methods for your problem, and then search for therapists who use those methods in your area (for example, if you have post-traumatic stress disorder, you might find that EMDR is an effective treatment for PTSD. You can then search for "EMDR therapy, San Diego").
- If the therapy looks too expensive, don't immediately write it off; you may be able to use your insurance, and some therapists may offer a sliding scale. If you like the therapist, you owe it to yourself to dig a little deeper and ask about options before moving on.
- Be aware of the process when you look for your therapist. In other words, did this person return your call or email in a reasonable amount of time? Did he or she address your needs and give you enough time and space to ask your questions? You definitely don't want a therapist who can't or won't be responsive to your needs.
- Finally, look for someone you feel good about, whether that's from speaking to them on the phone or going through their website. As I said in my last post, if you feel a strong connection to your therapist, chances are you will have a great experience in therapy.
I love hearing from you guys, so send me a message or comment on this post to let me know what you think. Did I miss anything important? Is there anything else you want to know about finding the right therapist for you?